I read recently another book by Paula Rinehart that really spoke my language. She writes, "Many women feel caught in a destructive pattern they feel powerless to change. It is not enough to say that Christ forgives. Can he also give the grace to take hard steps in a new direction? Will he meet me when I am alone and feeling desperate, and I want to give in to what I know has worked for me in the past? Is his love that real? Each of us is like this in some way. We return to the same sources of comfort... until they control us. When Christ says that he has come to give us life, he means that he intends to love us out of every false refuge, no matter how long we've called that home. It is a tender mercy- but it's a rather painful love. This journey with the Lord literally brings light into the darkest corners of our hearts. The farther we travel, the more we see."
The farther I am looking, the more I see what I was made to do. My heart longs to be serving Jesus in another land. Over the past 3 years, I've been praying through an opportunity to move back into North Africa and possibly Spain. It is a new country, a new life, with old friends that desire to see the gospel transform hearts in this particular region. After many ups and downs, fears and obstacles along the way, yeses and nos, other opportunities to serve... I finally have been called to go. I will be moving from St. Louis down to South Florida in December to make a new start/raise support as I look forward to the future in a new continent next year. I am finally free to let go of those things that nearly destroyed my heart. He has reminded me of the way in which he made me- to share His Word with those that need to hear. I have the Lord to help me take these steps towards health, towards His touch, and His plan for the nations. He is my Steady Hand, my Redeemer, my Rock. He's helped me find my heart again. He's walked me into the embrace of His love. I think, perhaps, that's the essence of what I was looking for all along. To Him be all the glory in this exciting time!
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