Ultimate Calling

"Calling is the truth that God calls us to Himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out as a response to his summons and service. Calling is the most comprehensive reorientation and the most profound motivation in human experience-the ultimate why for living in all history. Calling begins and ends such ages, and lives of faith by pacing the final aim of life beyond the world where it was meant to be. Answering the call is the way to find and fulfill the central purpose of your life..." (Os Guiness' The Call, p. 4, 6-7)

I've been thinking a lot lately about calling and what my life will look like after Nikki's death. My sister made me look at my relationship with the Creator, made me take a deeper glance at the most important part of my life, and is pushing me forward towards the Father. I'm afraid. I'm nervous at what this life is made up of. Last week was a series of major highs and today was a reminder of the more difficult parts of this walk... through suffering. I am returning to Ethiopia as a medical provider after a really miraculous change of plans, authored by the Lord. After a lot of thought, I'm going to let Him lead... and right now, that looks like long term missionary service overseas. I'm waiting for further confirmation but I recognize time plays a major role in all of this. At the moment, God is employing one of His greatest teachers- time- in order to enlarge my heart and expand my vision. This is the hard work of Isaiah 26:3, the submissive discipline of keeping my mind "stayed" on the Lord, trusting Him in ways I cannot see or understand, in places where I must learn to be content with mystery. All I want is for Christ to receive the glory, whatever that looks like. I praise Him in this storm... today is 5 months since her death... and I weep and call out to Him, for He delivers me into His precious and glorious light. I was called to praise my Maker, to share it with those that desire to listen, and step closer to Him as I encounter this pain. Thanks for reading...