Monday, May 2, 2011

"Depression is a burying of the soul in the ground, where it waits in the cold, lonely darkness, silent, solitary, waiting for the coming of spring, the warmth of the sun, and the companionship of all living things. "Except a grain of wheat fall to the ground and die, it cannot bear fruit." Depression, I learned, is not only the dark soil into which the grain falls but also the soil out of which grows the fruit. But what fruit had grown out of that soil?
A sense of my tentative place in the universe, I think. The mortality not only of my life but of my livelihood. The mortality of my moods too, that is what I realized. That it is all a gift. Life. The people you love and who love you. Your health. The job you have, the skill you have to do it, even the strength to do it. Each and every one of those things is a gift. Understanding that it is a gift makes you treasure the gift all the more, enjoy it all the more, and live life not only with a greater sense of appreciation but of indebtedness. Another fruit that came was the bittersweet knowledge of how little control I had over life, even my very own life, how little control any of us have over the storms that come into our lives or into the lives of those we love. Sometimes all you can do is to hold on for dear life until the storm passes. There is an empathy for others that grew from all this, an understanding I didn't have before, a compassion. And the tears allowed me to touch the hem of Christ's sorrows. It was a very small hem and a very brief touch, but it gave me a greater understanding of the sadness He carried with Him as he walked this earth. And with that understanding came a deeper love. The road Christ walked while He was here was a road that led to a tomb. I forget that sometimes. But out of that tomb came new life. Sometimes I forget that too."- Ken Gire
I read this passage this evening and was feeling so helpless earlier. I have been in this place of depression before and I am watching someone I love go through it... But Lord, you can get to places in their heart that I cannot. You can heal their soul in the only way that matters.
Heavenly Father, I pray you teach them (and me) how to wait for the dawn, to know that it is there. You are in the darkness, Father... give them a glimpse of your light that you have been showing me... You are all we need.

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