Gracious Uncertainty

I've been thinking of Abraham today, after having a conversation with a friend, who reminded me of the faith of our forefathers. I've been pondering what it must have been like for him to be called to sacrifice his only son. What an incredible test of faith. (I'm going to have to think about this for awhile... I'll keep you posted)

This story of Isaac brought the last year to my mind. I look back on the last 12 months and think about the things God asked for me to put on the altar. There were many times where He asked me to trust him despite the tears streaming down my face. There were so many days of wandering around, reading passage after passage about the redemption of Christ yet bawling my eyes out and teeter-tottering between doubting and trusting. (Lord, thank you for not giving up on me!) I wondered, "Could He really fix this? Could He really take care of my life like He promised?" These kinds of questions showed me how much I really doubt His timing and His plan. Despite all of my angry outbursts and crazy tantrums, He was (and continues to be!) soooo patient with me! Our call to trust in Him goes far deeper than I could have ever imagined. When we ask questions like, "Really, Lord? You want me to do WHAT? Why?!" He simply says to our hearts, "Trust Me."

Wow.

I wrote recently about the redemption happening in my life. The Lord blew my concept of repentance wide open- giving me such a precious gift in seeing the beauty of the Gospel extend to my broken heart. I have been led to shouts of joy and praises to God! He really does answer prayers! I smile as I think about the times ahead, what we are really striving for in this life- to push forward knowing He is going to put everything right again.

Paula Rinehart writes in Strong Women, Soft Hearts (I HIGHLY recommend this book!), "If God really does have us in the palm of his hand and your real life is secure in him, then you can venture forth- into the places and relationships, the challenges, the very heart of the storm- and you will be safe there. God is indeed the only agenda that makes any sense at all. It is a posture of 'gracious uncertainty' meaning that we have given up the illusion of being certain of anything but God. In this place of gracious uncertainty, we wait. For the broken pieces to be brought back together. For the meaning of our suffering to be revealed in his. For the righteous reign of a mighty God, whose goodness we will spend all eternity celebrating. We wait- with open, expectant hearts." Amen, sister!

Brothers and sisters, we wait. He is healing all of it... That I am SURE of.

Gracious Heavenly Father, forgive us for walking away and choosing our own ways. Thank you that you welcome us back as your children. Help us to walk through this valley. Hold our hands tightly, Father! Help us embrace the suffering that we are facing and will continue to face. Help us see how big you really are. Lord, help us to run the race you have laid before us and lead us home to you.